how to love yourself

Self Love: Stop Saying, Start Doing

Self Love: Stop Saying, Start Doing

Life Lessons I Wish I Knew Earlier

One thing I have been struggling with lately is the difference between saying and doing.  When you say you are taking a nap, it isn’t true until you actually lie down, close your eyes, and sleep for a period of time.  It is the same idea with all thoughts and actions.  I can say I love myself, but do I actually?  How am I showing myself that I do?  This has been on my mind for quite a while, so today I want to share 3 practices I wish I learned earlier(!) that truly do make us honor ourselves and show that self love FO REAL.

Self Love Practice #1

Give only when you are full

We are a generation of good-ists; we always want to give give give. We tend to always care what people think of us so we are always offering, and being the person there for everything and everyone.  But, far too often, we focus so much on this constant giving to others and working to satisfy others that we lose ourselves and ignore what we need in the process. Taking care of yourself is absolutely NOT selfish– in fact, it is your number one priority.

You, me, we– all need to focus on filling ourselves with what we need before moving to others.  When we don’t do this, we compromise our happiness, and often times, our health.

 

how to show self love

 

Self Love Practice #2

Set attainable goals, not past-reach goals

I do believe in shooting for the stars however, I believe this only for the long run.  Think about it this way: if you are constantly setting daily goals that you cannot reach, what does that do to your confidence and eagerness to keep moving towards your goals?  Little to nothing.  There is no rush of confidence or acknowledgement of progress when you fall short regularly.

Instead, yes go ahead and set a long term shooting for the stars goals; but, in the meantime, set mini goals that you know for a fact that you can accomplish.  Even more importantly, celebrate these accomplishments.

One of the best things I have done for myself is wake up each morning, roll over, and write a goal down for the day that I know I can accomplish and that will set me further on the path to reaching my longer term goal.  I do this before I even leave my bed.

how to show self love

 

Self Love Practice #3

Treat yourself like you would a best friend, not your worst enemy

Over the past year, I have been analyzing what I say to myself, and DAMN, I am not nice to myself.  If I treated a friend like I treat myself, they would not be a friend for long.  And, I know I am not the only one who does this.  We are all our own worst enemy, but why?  Why do we criticize every ounce of our being? What purpose is there in it?  No reason, and none.

The mentality I have adopted is if I wouldn’t say something that I am thinking about to myself to my best friend about her, I will not say it to myself.  Simple as that.

 

how to show self love

 

I have more tips and practices coming for you all soon, so keep checking back and in the mean time be sure to follow my FACEBOOK page where I am posting more ~daily~ tidbits.

Stay strong, stay fit, stay beautiful

colby triolo

PS. A few more personal training spots have opened up since school has ended for me! Head over -> here <- for details, would LOVE to help you reach your goals.

self love practices

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Dear Confused Millennial Part 2

Dear Confused Millennial Part 2

Dear Confused Millennial,

its okay to be scared

 

<  —

Part 1: My Letter to you

< —

 

In part 1, we acknowledged that it is hard, it can even be terrifying to have uncertainty  and confusion about our futures.  And then, I told you the number one thing we can do to make this uncertainty easier for us.

The best thing you can do, the best thing we can do, is let go of the fear and the worry, let go of the future and be in the now, say YES to what we were put here to do… LIVE.  Be in the very moment, and do what your heart desires at every given opportunity.  Because when we do that, we unknowingly are allowing our futures to fall into place.  — part 1

Today is all about actually DOING this: saying ‘yes’, living for the moment, listening to our bodies & our hearts.

sleeping giant state park

On top of the world

As a confused millennium myself, I know this can be extremely hard, to say the least, so here are my top tips for you.

How To Live In The Moment & Chase Your Happiness

The moment you have right now is the only one you can change. 

Live in the very moment.  You can’t change the future until you are there and you can’t rewrite the past.  So, live in this very moment and do not let your worries about the future affect your now.

Forgive and forget the past.

Do not beat yourself up about what has happened in the past.  Hear me when I say that everything happens for a reason. You went through what you did for a reason, instead of letting it bring your present down, use it to build you up.

Related Reading: Make Your Setbacks Your Stepping Stones

Stop trying to predict the future, create it instead.

If your heart is telling you to pursue something, but you are thinking to yourself  “oh, well that’s not what my family would expect me to pursue” or “I don’t know if I have the skills for that”, shut your thoughts down and TRY.  For gosh sake, you don’t know until you try, stop trying to predict the future, and create it instead.  Now, I don’t mean go out and do something that puts yourself or others at harm.  Rather, I mean stop letting your fear of not satisfying others get in the way of doing what you truly and utterly desire to do.

When you fall down, get right back up- mentally, and physically.

Honestly, falling down is GOOD; you learn many lessons, you develop a deeper understanding, you become a tougher being.  The only way falling down becomes negative is when you stay down and lay there like a sad puppy.  No, no, no.  Respect yourself to laugh it off, get up and come back stronger.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself

Again, respect yourself enough to not make excuses. Sh!t happens, it does.  Don’t waste time making excuses and feeling sorry for yourself, decide what your heart wants, and take it.

Confused millennial, let’s do this.

Here’s a fun little savable image you can use to remind yourself of these tips regularly.  Feel free to PIN to share & help me enter the pinterest scene. >> Colby on Pinterest

 

how to live in the moment

 

ymycolby

PS. I want to help you  conquer your YouMakeYou journey? Check out my 21 Day Power Up! I am offering 25% off during this dear confused millennial series with the code: letsdothis 

dear confused millennial

 

 

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I Hit A Mental Wall, Here Is How I Got Over It

I Hit A Mental Wall, Here Is How I Got Over It

I hit a mental wall today.  Actually, I hit a mental wall about three days ago but had to keep pushing that wall away until after my physics exam last night.

My mental wall

was a lot.  It was end of semester finals stress.  It was living situation stress. It was the gradual losing myself  and my values since school has started.  It was the fact that I’ve put up barriers around myself and refuse to let anyone in.  It was the fact that I haven’t been able to run since my marathon due to an overuse injury in my knee.  The wall was a lot.

There is always time for yourself.

I woke up today and realized that I need to start taking my own advice–honoring myself, my mind and my body.  Despite the fact that I still have 3 more exams to go and 2 more projects, honestly despite any deadline I might have, there is always time to honor myself, I know this. And, I preach this.  But, over the past month I have been letting life pull me away from this, I have been letting life drag me along without allowing me to hold onto myself.

The thing is, that ^ is so easy to let happen, I’ve witnessed it first hand, I didn’t realize what was happening until about 3 days ago when I took a second to stop and breathe.

Colby Triolo

After trying to push that wall along with me for 3 days, my mom’s voice popped into my head….

Remember, there is a door on every wall.

She said this to me right before my marathon, and boy did I hit many walls that day, but this applies to more than just the running wall, this applies to any wall.  Walls don’t discriminate, walls don’t have some sort of methodological way to decide if they want to give you a door or not, they just do. End of story.

So, today I decided to drop everything for a few hours and find that door.  I left my school brain behind which was tough, but I knew it would be there when I got back, and more importantly, I knew I would be much more refreshed therefore able to easily make up for the lost time.  Heck, my focus had become non-existent anyway!

Here is what I did (PEEP: me time post)

How I got past my mental wall:

10 am

I got in my car, and I drove, I got on the main highway near me that I knew ended up near some trails, and I drove.  For me, even simply driving for hours on end would do well; I plug in my phone, blast my happy playlist, and spend time thinking. However, I knew I wanted to move.

10:30 am-12:00 pm

I arrived at Taughannock Falls State Park which is essentially a multitude of hiking trails through the woods surrounding waterfalls.   I got out of my car and spent about an hour or so hiking the Rim Trail.  It was stunning, it was peaceful, it was refreshing.  But most of all, it gave me the much needed time to unplug from the world and just think.  It gave me time to mentally work through the immense pile of everything that was upsetting and challenging me but that I had just pushed aside out of rushing through my days.

Funny story about unplugging…I literally and physically unplugged.  On the hike back up, I pulled out my phone to call my dad and then reached into my coat pocket for the headphones I always kept there.   However, they weren’t there so I assumed I left them in my car.  Little did I know.. I walked a few minutes further up the hill and my headphones were lying on the ground in the middle of the trail. LOL talk about unplugging.

Somewhere in the midst of my hike I found the door in the wall, and climbed through it.  I felt refreshed, I felt alive, I felt like me again.

Colby Triolo

Call me crazy, but I love being alone.

Yes I love my friends to death, but ever since going away to college last year the one thing that I have missed most is the ability to be alone with myself.  I need that time, I enjoy that time.  Honestly, I could sit in a dining hall all by myself and be completely fine with it.

Not only do I enjoy being alone but after today I realize that I need to be alone sometimes.  Hiking through the trails with not single sense of another being around me gave me the long needed ability to work through a lot.

12:30pm

On the drive back I was feeling so light and unstressed I decided to stop at a local cafe for a (treat yourself because 5 fucking dollars) latte and crossword puzzle hour.  This may not sound like a lot, but looking back over the past 5 months, I don’t think I could pinpoint a time where I just

did something to do something,

where I did something of little to no life/school progression value because of the sheer stress that taking a break causes me.  For me, stopping for coffee just to do so is a big step.

Coffee Time

Now, after my little self meeting adventure, I am back in the library, Thai food on my left, tea on my right, best friend across from me singing every lyric of every damn song he is listening to, and studying for finals.

Sure, I could be like the usual me freaking out about every second missed in the library, but I am not.  I am more productive right now because of how I spent my morning than I have been all year.

And, most importantly, I feel happier and more in tune with myself.  No, I didn’t magically cross through that wall in a few hours, it will take time, but I have a great start on the road to where I want to be.

Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself,

when things aren’t going the way they should.  Don’t be afraid to take a step back and evaluate where you are.  Don’t be afraid to say AYO PEACE to the world for a few hours and only care about yourself.

You deserve it.

ymycolby

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Changes I’ve Made That Have Changed Me // 30 Day Blogging Challenge #7

Changes I’ve Made That Have Changed Me // 30 Day Blogging Challenge #7

I don’t know why I keep bobbling back and forth between deep, serious blogs and lighthearted easily read blogs.  It’s like my indecisiveness with lattes and black coffee… every other day its the opposite.  I’m a woman with many interests, ya know?

gd

I’m sitting in my favorite cafe on campus, thinking about how much I’ve changed over the past two-ish years in college.  I don’t know what spurred me to do this, but it excites me.  I find it so easy to get wrapped up in the speed of life and the comfort of routine.  This is actually one of the changes I have made.  Before college, I was always so routine based.  I knew what I liked, I knew what I had to do, I found what worked for me, and I kept doing it. I didn’t like last minute changes, I didn’t like other people affecting my plans.  With the monotonous schedule of school I, more often than not, did the exact same thing every day.  I grew to love my routine to the point where I couldn’t fathom making a change any  given day.  After going away to college, I have begun to not live without a schedule, but live without a rigid routine.  I say ‘yes’ to things I would have said ‘no’ to before out of refusal to leave my routine.  I enjoy spontaneity.  I am able to learn so much more about myself and experience the world greater than before just because I am open to it.  By simply giving up my type-A schedule based mindset, I have begun the have some of the best experiences of my life.

This isn’t the only change I have made with myself over the past few years…

+ I stopped guzzling down my coffee from a to-go mug and started waiting to drink a cup until I have time to sit down and enjoy it.

+ I started making time, even when I “don’t have it” , to do things that make me happy.

+ I stopped spending time on people who don’t spend time on me.

+ I gave up the fear of failure and started trying things I didn’t think I would be successful at.  run

+ I stopped getting rattled when I couldn’t make it to the gym.

+ I stopped washing my hair every time I showered, no joke this is a thing, you’re not supposed to. 

+ I started doing things for me and stopped feeling selfish about it.

+  I started respect-fully not spending time with people who bring me down.

+ I started making a large effort to spend time with those who bring me up and make me happy.

+ I stopped apologizing unnecessarily.

+ I stopped eating food I don’t actually  like.

+ I stopped doing things because I thought I should and started doing things because I wanted to.

+ I started establishing and recognizing what is important to me.

+ I gave up the belief that I had to be doing work every second of every day.

+ And, I gave up the belief that life is a race to what you will become.

 

If I was to wrap all of these changes up in one point, it would be that I started to get to know and trust myself, and I realized that the most important thing for me, and for you in your life, is to let yourself be the center of your life.  It is not selfish.  We all have one life to live, we can’t waste is concerned about what others think, we can’t waste it hiding in fear, we can’t waste it programmed to a routine of comfort, we need to spend it chasing our own happiness. 

YOU MAKE YOU!

I want to know, what is a change you have made lately? Comment below!

See you tomorrow!

xoxo,

Colby

21 Day Power Up: a step by step guide to conquer your YMY mindset — 

 

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5 Things to Remind Yourself Daily

5 Things to Remind Yourself Daily

Current status: sitting in the library stacks, top floor, most quiet study place on campus, blasting Gasolina in my headphones.  So contradictory, so contradictory.  I’ve also been here for seven hours now so I may  blame it on restlessness and boredom.  But at the same time I like to think I am productive with upbeat music, it pumps me up to do work, you know?

The inspiration for this week’s blog post comes from living in my sorority house this year and experiencing vastly different types of mindsets on a daily basis.

I preach individualism and personal awareness: knowing what works for you and what YOU want.  I know everyone is different, I know everyone has different things that work for them (peep– Gasolina) but I do believe there are some things that are true for everyone that need to be remembered.

 HEY, remind yourself of these daily:

You are where you are for a reason.   You can either look back and  ask why or look forward and use your past to help you grow and chase your dreams.  Everything happens for a reason.

You can do anything. This is it. This is the one life you were granted.  It is yours to create, take the power.

Everything is a choice.  Realize that you have the final say as to if something affects you, or if you do something.  You have the final say as to where you end up.  Nothing  is out of your control.  Your mind is more powerful than anything in the world in terms of your own life. Click here to start my 21 Day Power Up.

The perfect time is now. There is no better time to make a change, try something new, or chase your dreams than the present.  Stop waiting for this or that, the perfect time is now.  Don’t worry about what has happened up until this point, don’t think about what is to come in the future, instead ask yourself what you can do with this very moment.

There is no reason to worry.   You absolutely do not need the answers to everything, you do not need to be liked by everyone, etc.  Do not worry about these things.  Stay true to  yourself, know where you want to end up, live for that and you will get there.

 

Save this photo to remind yourself of these daily: YouMakeYou

I want to know:

What do you study to?

 

ALWAYS REMEMBER, YOU MAKE YOU

xoxo, Colby

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Dear, you.

Dear, you.

The inspiration for this blog post– of which I am typing in Microsoft Word HEYO no WiFi— is that I just watched the movie How to Be Single and it was actually wonderful. I am not sure how much that means considering I don’t ever watch movies, but still.   TRUTH TIME: I have never seen all the Harry Potters, The Titanic, or The Notebook, basically I have never seen anything.  Movies kind of stress me out.

via GIPHY

But, I am writing this on a 9 hour plane ride and they have these cool TV’s on the seat in front of me, so I figured watching a movie would be a bit more enticing than staring out the window at clouds passing.
Has anyone else seen How to Be Single?! What did you think? Let me know in the comments.

 

Side note.. the food they plopped in front of is really starting to freak me out, it’s just staring at me and I can visibly count 3 different kinds of dairy so far: butter, cheese slice (?) and coffee cream. Lactose intolerance is not a fan at the moment. And I would also like to go to the restroom, but can’t quite figure out how to get out around this tray. UGH OK RANT OVER.

How To Be Single is a comedy about a young woman’s journey to loving herself independent of whomever she is with. This really got me thinking not only about how important it is to love yourself but how hard it can be in our world today to do so. I preach the YouMakeYou® mindset of realizing that you only get one life to live and that is the life that you create for yourself. You have full control, full power, full ability to achieve anything you want, you just have to take it. And, that is the hardest part– realizing that the power exists and is  yours to take. I am not crazy, I know it is much easier said than done but loving and respecting yourself is one of the key steps you need to take. When you do this, you have a deeper understanding of who you are and what you want. You stop having the fear of what other people think. You put yourself first, and THAT is what allows you to take the power to control all aspects of your life. This self-love and demolition of fear is something I focus on in my 21 Day Power Up: a step by step guide to conquering the YMY mindset.
Loveyourself_snail

I want to give you some brief tips and tricks to get you started along your journey:

• If you wouldn’t say to another person what you are thinking, or saying to yourself, you should not be saying it.  Stop being so critical.
• Ask ‘why not?’ instead of ‘why?’. You do not need thorough reasoning for every single thing you do—listen to your heart and go where it takes you without thinking through a perfect reasoning. Value your heart and it’s opinion.  Stop questioning yourself.  
• The very first person you should be worried about is yourself. Always. You need to make yourself happy before you can make anyone else happy. This is one of the things we focus on in the 21 Day Power Up as well—it is not selfish, it is RIGHT.  Think about it like this: the happier you are, the more positive vibes you put out into the world, and the more positive  vibes you put out, the more you inspire other people to do the same.  It is the law of attraction: like attracts like.

Law Of Attraction
• In the same light, stop worrying about what other people think. In my 21 Day Power Up, I refer to this as ego and you should not let it hold you back. You get ONE life to live & that is the life YOU choose to create, do not let someone else dictate that for you.  Defeat ego.  Defeat fear.  And own your life.
• Embrace, appreciate, and admire everything about yourself. You are where you currently are for a reason, every single part of you—body and mind—is what is supposed to be this very moment. Embrace that, appreciate that, and admire that. Know that YOU are the best person in the world at being YOU and that is something to celebrate. Always.

 

I want to know:
What is your favorite part about yourself? I think it is immensely important to not only know yourself, but know what you love about yourself.  My favorite part of my physical self is definitely my hair! My favorite part of myself inside is my strong will.

What is your favorite movie? I really should start watching more.

ALWAYS REMEMBER, YOU MAKE YOU

xoxo, Colby

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