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I Hit A Mental Wall, Here Is How I Got Over It

I Hit A Mental Wall, Here Is How I Got Over It

I hit a mental wall today.  Actually, I hit a mental wall about three days ago but had to keep pushing that wall away until after my physics exam last night.

My mental wall

was a lot.  It was end of semester finals stress.  It was living situation stress. It was the gradual losing myself  and my values since school has started.  It was the fact that I’ve put up barriers around myself and refuse to let anyone in.  It was the fact that I haven’t been able to run since my marathon due to an overuse injury in my knee.  The wall was a lot.

There is always time for yourself.

I woke up today and realized that I need to start taking my own advice–honoring myself, my mind and my body.  Despite the fact that I still have 3 more exams to go and 2 more projects, honestly despite any deadline I might have, there is always time to honor myself, I know this. And, I preach this.  But, over the past month I have been letting life pull me away from this, I have been letting life drag me along without allowing me to hold onto myself.

The thing is, that ^ is so easy to let happen, I’ve witnessed it first hand, I didn’t realize what was happening until about 3 days ago when I took a second to stop and breathe.

Colby Triolo

After trying to push that wall along with me for 3 days, my mom’s voice popped into my head….

Remember, there is a door on every wall.

She said this to me right before my marathon, and boy did I hit many walls that day, but this applies to more than just the running wall, this applies to any wall.  Walls don’t discriminate, walls don’t have some sort of methodological way to decide if they want to give you a door or not, they just do. End of story.

So, today I decided to drop everything for a few hours and find that door.  I left my school brain behind which was tough, but I knew it would be there when I got back, and more importantly, I knew I would be much more refreshed therefore able to easily make up for the lost time.  Heck, my focus had become non-existent anyway!

Here is what I did (PEEP: me time post)

How I got past my mental wall:

10 am

I got in my car, and I drove, I got on the main highway near me that I knew ended up near some trails, and I drove.  For me, even simply driving for hours on end would do well; I plug in my phone, blast my happy playlist, and spend time thinking. However, I knew I wanted to move.

10:30 am-12:00 pm

I arrived at Taughannock Falls State Park which is essentially a multitude of hiking trails through the woods surrounding waterfalls.   I got out of my car and spent about an hour or so hiking the Rim Trail.  It was stunning, it was peaceful, it was refreshing.  But most of all, it gave me the much needed time to unplug from the world and just think.  It gave me time to mentally work through the immense pile of everything that was upsetting and challenging me but that I had just pushed aside out of rushing through my days.

Funny story about unplugging…I literally and physically unplugged.  On the hike back up, I pulled out my phone to call my dad and then reached into my coat pocket for the headphones I always kept there.   However, they weren’t there so I assumed I left them in my car.  Little did I know.. I walked a few minutes further up the hill and my headphones were lying on the ground in the middle of the trail. LOL talk about unplugging.

Somewhere in the midst of my hike I found the door in the wall, and climbed through it.  I felt refreshed, I felt alive, I felt like me again.

Colby Triolo

Call me crazy, but I love being alone.

Yes I love my friends to death, but ever since going away to college last year the one thing that I have missed most is the ability to be alone with myself.  I need that time, I enjoy that time.  Honestly, I could sit in a dining hall all by myself and be completely fine with it.

Not only do I enjoy being alone but after today I realize that I need to be alone sometimes.  Hiking through the trails with not single sense of another being around me gave me the long needed ability to work through a lot.

12:30pm

On the drive back I was feeling so light and unstressed I decided to stop at a local cafe for a (treat yourself because 5 fucking dollars) latte and crossword puzzle hour.  This may not sound like a lot, but looking back over the past 5 months, I don’t think I could pinpoint a time where I just

did something to do something,

where I did something of little to no life/school progression value because of the sheer stress that taking a break causes me.  For me, stopping for coffee just to do so is a big step.

Coffee Time

Now, after my little self meeting adventure, I am back in the library, Thai food on my left, tea on my right, best friend across from me singing every lyric of every damn song he is listening to, and studying for finals.

Sure, I could be like the usual me freaking out about every second missed in the library, but I am not.  I am more productive right now because of how I spent my morning than I have been all year.

And, most importantly, I feel happier and more in tune with myself.  No, I didn’t magically cross through that wall in a few hours, it will take time, but I have a great start on the road to where I want to be.

Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself,

when things aren’t going the way they should.  Don’t be afraid to take a step back and evaluate where you are.  Don’t be afraid to say AYO PEACE to the world for a few hours and only care about yourself.

You deserve it.

ymycolby

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Posted by colbytriolo in A Day in My Life, challenges, College Living, empowering talks, motivation, 0 comments